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Dear M—, It’s Me Again, Amy

Dear M—,   I’m writing to ask about your goldfish, Javaunte. Is the World’s Oldest Goldfish still alive? * I’m sorry for the names I called you a few years ago. I’m sorry I wished you were hit by a...

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Southpaw: One Week as a Leftie

Day One Because I have my father’s proclivity for drinking and my mother’s lack of grace, I trip on a loose stone of the homemade fireplace while cleaning up after the party, and land my right hand,...

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Adopted Siblings: Susan

Part One in a new series about brothers and sisters I have adopted throughout life as an only child. I adopted Susan as my sister when we were two years old, in daycare. It wasn’t daycare, really, not...

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Christmas 1984

We sit at my grandparents’ long dining room table, the worn green tablecloth unfurled, revealing years of red wine stains. My mother places a cassette recorder in the middle, trying to get it exactly...

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Choosing Not to Know: A Review of In Defense of Monsters

Astrophysicists work to uncover a Theory of Everything, the mathematical equation of all life in the universe. Religious zealots describe heaven and hell in florid detail. Tarot cards, constellations,...

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I Know Who You Are

I was seventeen when a new millennium reset the world. I started it by drinking a bottle of cinnamon-flavored liquor at my own New Year’s Eve party and passing out in my room, sleeping right through...

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Against the Pursuit of Happiness: A Meditation

Listen. Happiness? It just looks different on people like me.                                             —Lidia Yuknavitch, The Chronology of Water     In Ithaca, New York, Tibetan prayer flags hang...

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The Public Man

My father died on November 12, 2012. The date matters. My mind clenches the details, hugging tight the hairpin curves of my memory. I am the cartographer of this map. November 12, 2012. Though it was a...

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Communing with Cancer

My father’s urologist projected the CAT scan on his computer screen, pointing out the major organs like battle sites on a Civil War map. My father’s body, my homeland. Bladder. Liver. Intestine....

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Playing the Odds

On the last day of his life, my father bought two scratch-off lottery tickets. We had just finished a lap through the Price Chopper, filling a cart with foods his urologist said he should eat during...

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The Faces We Carry

Yesterday, I woke up with a familiar sensation, or what, for me, is a familiar sensation: a tingle in my upper lip. A slight, hair tickle itch. Fizzy, like I’ve rubbed my mouth with the skin of a...

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